trixi0160

trixi0160 @ 2008-01-23T16:06:00

2008-01-23T21:07:09Z

Brandon this shit is hard as hell. I think about you every second of everyday. I hate not being able to see you, because you are my best friend. I hate being sick, Waking up randomly sick to my stomach because I was thinking of you. I hate how I can’t talk to you ever. A break isn’t just not talking at all. I hate how there are so many things left unsaid. I hate how everyday I try and think of a plan to see you but never have enough guts to fall through with any of it. I hate how everything and anything makes me think of you. Looking at a stupid thing such as a fucking rock can somehow bring a memory into my mind about you. I hate how whenever I tell a storey you are always in it. I hate hurting all the time and crying all the time. I hate thinking about you being with another girl. I hate having a pain that won’t go away. I hate seeing pictures of us. I hate reading old notes, comments, and messages. I hate how you’re the only thing I talk and think about. I hate how you don’t want to see me. I hate how I want to do stuff but only with you so I cant do it. I hate how I had things planned for us that aren’t going to happen as of now. I hate not knowing if any of this is going to change. I hate how I want to call you and tell you stuff but you won’t answer my phone calls. I hate wanting to talk to you all the time and ask you questions and advise and I hate not being able to hear your response. I hate not being able to have you hold me when I’m sad. Calm me down when I’m mad. Make me feel better when I’m sick. I hate not being able to kiss or hug you. I hate not having “goosers” even though I hate them I miss them all at the same time. I hate how everywhere I go it reminds me of you because you were always there with me. I hate how my whole room and house reminds me of you. I hate how everyone’s house reminds me of you because I went everywhere with you. I hate not being able to sleep with you. I hate that I know we should be together but we aren’t. I hate when I dream about you. I miss your smell. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss you getting mad at me and speeding away to try to piss me off. I miss how you knew exactly how to piss me off. I miss fighting with you because to me fighting is better then nothing. I miss how you knew exactly how to make me happy. I miss you saying “around the ball around the ball catch a little mouse, up the stairs up the stairs in his little house.” I miss making love. I miss little bubu. I miss singing songs. I miss watching movies. I miss cuddling. I miss fallings asleep in your arms. I miss going out to eat all the time. I miss stealing you stuff. I miss your big lips that fit perfectly over mine. I miss your hands that fit perfectly in mine. I miss our inside jokes. I miss when you used to crack my toes. I miss hearing you say I love you. I miss saying it back. I miss drinking sweat tea. I miss popping each others pimples. I miss you tickling my back, even though you always stopped. I miss how I always felt safe with you. I miss telling you secrets. I miss that feeling I got when I first saw you after not seeing you all day. I miss your button nose. I miss lighting candles in your dorm. I miss going to the market place with you. I miss acting weird near you. I miss all of our nicknames. I miss us. I miss everything. I could go on and on forever. I love you more then anything and I know you know that, I hope you know that. I know you miss all of this. I guess you’re coming over at 4 which is in a few minutes. I’m excited just to see your face will be amazing. I hope you show up because for some reason it feels to good to be true because I never see you. I love you more then anything Brandon and I always will.<3

<333 lexi!<333

RIP ROSS<3

2007-12-23T01:04:42Z

Ross Heinz died yesterday around 10 p.m police say his 2006 Chevy Cobalt was traveling north when the car drove crossed the median and hit a guard rail causing it to roll several times. Both the passenger and driver were ejected. Ross Heinz, 20, died at the scene. Ashley Cook, 17, is in critical condition at Allegheny General Hospital. State Police are still trying to determine what caused the crash. They say neither Cook nor Heinz was wearing a seat belt at the time of the crash.

RIP Ross Heinz…only the good die young. My mom wonders why I am so scared to drive. I know 4 people that have died in car accidents. 6 people have died just this year that I know. Do you realize how hard that is, especially when my biggest fear is death. I just can’t comprehend why good people get their lives taken from them. Why cant murderers, child molesters, any kind of criminal…why can’t that happen to them? Nothing makes sense to me. I firmly believe that everything happens for reason, but I just don’t understand why anything happens usually. It saddens me that a kid gets his life taken away from him like that. That he won’t be able to do simple things that everyone takes for granted such as seeing his friends/family, going to parties/prom, seeing his girlfriend, one day starting a family and having kids, his wedding day. I feel so bad for his girlfriend because if she does end up getting better and out of critical condition she is going to have to live with the fact that the love of her live died, honestly if anything happened like that to my boyfriend I wouldn’t know how to live my life anymore.

I’m seriously in shock. I never think anything like this is going to happen, but then again I guess no one does. I’m mad at myself. Mad at myself for not staying in touch with Ross. I’m mad that even when I did see him not taking time out to talk to him because I thought it would make his girlfriend mad. He was such a nice guy, I remember hanging out with him all the time when him and Rachel were dating, he used to take us to the club and we would always visit him when he worked at get go and give us free stuff, or if we wanted something he would always bring it to us when he was done working. He was such a nice guy and would do anything for anyone and this is what he gets in return.

Please say a prayer for Ross Heinz, he’s in a better place now.

Please also say a prayer for his girlfriend Ashley cook who is in critical condition, help her pull through and get better.

trixi0160 @ 2007-12-18T20:21:00

2007-12-19T01:22:59Z

God had this plan in his mind since before you and i ever existed on the earth, and He wanted us to meet for a specific purpose. People as significant as you don't just wonder aimlessly into my life for no reason. You're here fore something, and I' on a mission to figure out why

trixi0160 @ 2007-12-04T16:19:00

2007-12-04T21:19:10Z

This time last year I was so happy. I had my group of girl’s kali, Ashley and Erica it was just me and them all the time we did everything together. I always had a different crush but I liked it that way. I was always having fun. I went out every weekend all weekend. We basically partied but I loved it. Even if we were partying it up or just hanging out in someone’s basement doing nothing it was always amazing. I was happy, and it was like we had it all. Even when things were rough I had kali she was always there for me and I was there for her. Everything just went together it all made sense. After hanging out with burtt and his whole crew for awhile, we got over that but there were the basketball games we loved those. Jump to march, still loving those basketball games because we always won, talking to murph, well actually we all were talking to someone at the time but I loved it. he picked britt over me I was really upset about that cause really I never got rejected but I think that’s why I was. Jump to April. That’s when stuff with me and Brandon started taking place. I have been with him ever since. Its not that I don’t love him, or that I don’t have great memories with him because I have some of the best. I miss when we first started dating more than anything, everything was so new and fresh I love the feeling of having a new crush it’s the best. I just never thought that I wouldn’t be aloud to date him. It makes everything so hard. Brandon’s my firstserious relationship, first love, sometimes I think that we shouldn’t do this not because I don’t want to but because it just makes me so grumpy and depressed most of the time not being able to see him when I want to and being a secret. I know that whatever happens its going to be extremely hard and that’s what I’m afraid of the most.

long time no update ha.

2007-12-02T15:54:14Z

I never update this thing anymore. I really do want to start updating. Not the gay ass “this is what happened today shit” anymore. I actually want to put my feelings and everything that I’m thinking in here for now on. I want to use this thing for like a get away’, if I’m angry about something talk about it in here. No one reads this anymore or even uses live journal anymore. That stuff was done 8^th grade summer going into 9^th and I’m in 11^th grade now I feel like such a loser. I think that’s the reason I basically stopped using this is because nobody else was. Once in awhile I am going to type about my day just because I like going back when I’m bored on days and reading all of the stuff that I wrote it makes me laugh and smile. It also makes me said because I wish I could go back to some of that stuff.

I do however want to update about this Friday because it was interesting. Friday was the first basketball game for this year. I went with a totally different crew because everyone I went with last year graduated. It was sad I miss everything last year, I miss the people I hung out with and the times that we had, I miss me kali Erica Kristen Ashley etc…all getting together and making shirts and then going to the game and our team kicking ass and making it to states (cause we wont be going there this year in any sport) we lived for those Fridays last year. I miss us all talking to someone on the basketball team Erica and jared, kali and Derek, me and murph, leslie and harv. Then going back to usually murphs house and drinking or watching movies. It was just like our routine for so long. That’s what I hate about memories you just take those moments for granted. You get so used to them. Then with the blink of an eye they are gone. At first you don’t notice. But then one day you just remember and it’s like wow! I don’t know it was just sad.

After them game I went to sheetz and then to pizza hutt with ginger Abby Christina and Danielle. Then me and Christina just went back to her house and chilled. Brandon and Scotty came to pick us up and we both went back to Brandon’s dorm. Brandon has a gay ass roommate Paul. I literally hate his guts. He’s the only person on this earth that I hate and being a Christian I don’t hate anyone, but for him I have my exceptions. We used to fight all the time, I fucking took a huge rock and rubbed it all over his car. Then when he and Brandon got into a fight he left and didn’t come back for two weeks. When he finally did come back they didn’t say one word to each other the two weeks that he has been there. Like every time I was there it was the most awkward situation ever. Since him and Brandon weren’t talking at all and it was like a dead silence whenever I went there, I wasn’t going to say anything either. So basically for that month I didn’t say one word to him. Anyways when we all walked into Brandon’s dorm Paul had the couch turned around and the cable cord in his new computer. He always does shit like that to annoy us because he knows the only thing me and Brandon ever do when we are there is watch TV. So we were like since he isn’t here lets get back at him and turn the couch around, childish I know but we were getting back. When we were in the process of moving it around he walked in and we were basically almost shit ourselves. He just stood there not saying one word as always and looked pissed. That was real awkward so we just left and went and got something to eat. Christina and I stole so many Christmas ornaments off this decoration tree it was seriously so funny you had to be there but I was laughing so hard I pissed my pants. When we got back to the dorm I saw Paul in the RA’s room. Then a few minutes later the RA came to the door and ask to talk to Brandon she told him that Paul was concerned about my age since I’m only 16, seriously that stupid piece of shit he’s not worried that I’m 16 he’s tried to hook up with all of my friends. So Brandon had to go and have a meeting with the RA and Paul. It was basically mutual. Paul actually started talking to Brandon. Then out of no where Paul was like Brandon can I talk to you. He asked if I was sleeping over and Brandon said yes. So Paul went and told the RA for the second time. The RA basically told Brandon that I have to leave. HOLF FUCK we were pissed! I guess Brandon threatened Paul, Paul told Brandon that he’s moving out. So really in the long run we win that battle but I’m still thinking of what I’m going to do to him.

This was way to long. It took me over an hour to type everything. I feel good about updating this now. I’m for sure going to try to update this more often,

note to boyfriend

2007-09-19T00:31:58Z

Brandon I’m giving you this note because I don’t have enough guts to say any of this to your face. Lately everything’s been different. I honestly thought that you going to college was going to be so much better and that it would be just like things were when we first started dating basically perfect. Soon enough I learned that I was completely wrong. I thought you wouldn’t see your family as much so that I could see you but you’re with them like everyday. I thought you would pick me up and drop me off so I could see you everyday but you don’t. I never ever thought that I would hate your roommate or even that your roommate would be Paul but it is. I never thought that you going to college would make us less close and barley able to see each other but I was wrong. See before we dated I had a plan. I thought I had everything figured out. I new what I wanted to do and I didn’t want any boys to get in my way. I was sick of boys because there were so many boys in my past that just came in gone and after me liking Murph and him picking Brittany over me I was just done. I just wanted to be single for a long ass time that was my plans for my junior year. It was just me, nobody else and I could do what I wanted. Then out of no where you came into my life and things just changed. We both learned that my mom and your aunt were like best friends and that our families knew each other for years and we thought that was cool but little did we know in the end it really wasn’t. You came into my life and turned everything completely upside down. You weren't involved in my plan. I had no idea what to do. All of a sudden I was worrying about not just myself, but you too. At first I was skeptical of the whole situation. I had never felt those things before. But I felt them for you. You weren’t just somebody I liked you were like my best friend every time I would hang out with you was a fun time and I didn’t know what to expect and I loved that. Then like a month or two in to when we started dating you went to California and I had to wait for you for 17 days and I did and I didn’t cheat or even think about it even when people put bad thoughts into my head everybody told me I was crazy but I think it was worth everyday that I didn’t get to see you even though it drove me absolutely nuts. But you got back and everything went back to normal, well at least for a little bit. A few months in our relationship your parents found out my real age. That just started a road of hell from then on everything changed. I don’t need to get into all of that because me and you both know that’s just where all of our problems started, that’s when our relationship wasn’t so perfect anymore. All of that stuff didn’t matter after all of the stuff we have been through we just realized that we loved each other. I never knew what “being in love” was until I met you but it was honestly the best feeling in the world. Being able to say I love you felt pretty damn amazing. To be honest your not easy to love you dive me crazy. You test my patience everyday. You’re stubborn, and you know exactly what to say and do to piss me off. But, I'm not easy to love either. I'm emotional, arrogant at times and always have to be right. I ‘m not fair or so the physic told me and I'm just as stubborn as you are. Brandon you’re the only thing in my life that seems right. That’s why I hate when I have doubts about you. Even when it gets so bad and it almost seems as if everything is going to fall apart, it won't. We've been through hell and back and we've made it through every single situation. I won’t give up on you if you won’t give up on me. The only thing I want Brandon is to be with you. If I cant be with you I want to talk to you I hate when you don’t answer my calls because it puts a million things into my head that I don’t like to think like did his parents find out we’re dating?, is he cheating on me?, Is he hurt? The list just goes one and on. And then when I tell me friends they put stuff in my head not that they are trying to ruin things for us, but just because they are good friends and they are looking out for me just like I would for them. Even if you can’t answer my phone calls you could at least answer my text. All I’m saying is that if you don’t talk to me and I don’t get to see you I can’t do this anymore. I really don’t think that’s a lot to ask. Brandon I really think we have a good thing going and now that look at it I cant picture me or you with anyone else. I could never act the way I act with you with anyone else I don’t care who it is because I just don’t think anybody but you understands me. I could never picture you with another girl ever if I ever saw you with another girl you would probably never see her again. I just wanted to let you know all of this stuff that I had to get off my chest. Brandon I love you and I have since the day we first said it and I always will. Your my everything and my heart belongs to you and you only don’t you ever forget that.

P.S. You probably fell asleep but if you got to the end of this letter I love even more!

Love,

Lexi.

my baby<3

2007-05-19T01:31:30Z

I haven’t updated in forever. I wish I had because I haven’t updated on like a whole books worth of stuff that I’m probably going to want to remember in the future. Lately this year boys have come and gone but right now there’s one that seems to be sticking around. I know like 2 months really isn’t that long but for me talking for 2 or 3 weeks is long lately so it is for me. There was one boy this year that I didn’t even realize how much I liked him until he picked another girl over me, all my friends say they don’t even think that I like him that much its just that I’m not used to rejection. Whatever he still made me cry and I never cry over boys. But that’s in the past now I realized that even though I cried over him god defiantly had a different plan things didn’t work out with him because there was someone better for me. This person is way better honestly I’m the happiest girl in the world with him. I can spend everyday for two months straight with him and not even get annoyed. I’m so comfortable around him its ridiculous. All I do when I’m with him is laugh, smile, scream, kiss, hug, and just act like my weird self. He’s gone on vacation for 14 days I’m going to go crazy.

"GIVING THANKS"

2006-12-07T02:26:47Z

I haven’t updated in awhile. Thanksgiving break is over. “I gave thanks on thanksgiving”. It was crazy. Seriously. Something happened that I’m never going to forget, literally. The break was honestly probably the most amazing break that I’ve ever had. It mainly consisted of hanging out with a bunch of people and then having big sleepovers at Burtts house. I got close to one person in particularly honestly she’s like my best friend now I love her. And besides her I got close to a lot other people. I did do something though that I know I’m probably going to get bit in the ass for and regret later. My other best friends she is changing because she’s starting to hang out with this new girl. Hmm sounds like a similar situation that I updated about previously, I guess I’m lucky like that. I also conquered like my biggest fear over break that was exciting for me because I’m honestly not scared of it at all anymore. All in all break was amazing and that all I’m going to say about it.

This weekend was lame except for Saturday I went to a party with kali Ashley and Erica that was fun I puked for the first time haha. heres some pictures.

And this week has been alright so far kind of lame/boring oh well. Monday I went to circuit city and then to the mall with Burtt we met Shawn there we saw Amanda and Alishe Ashley was working so we talked to her for awhile. Burtt and Shawn were pretty much fasinated by this buzz toy in the Disney store haha. I got Burtt some pretty sweet clothes. Everyone thought me and him were going out weird hah. And yesterday I left school early and chilled with Christina ranee Anthony danille maxin etc. ha peace.

AH NEVER FORGET THAT PARTY=]

2006-11-21T00:35:41Z

I’ve been in trouble for awhile now these pictures sum it up without having to use words basically party and other stuff. Do I regret it? No I think it was worth it. I’ll never forget that night.<3

mommys going out of town.

2006-10-21T03:21:22Z

I haven’t updated for awhile I just don’t have any time on my hands anymore.

I liked last weekend a lot, I got to spend it with people I love the most.

I never get to see Ashley roz anymore and we got to hang out last weekend me and her have been hanging out a lot lately I love it. I’ve been hanging out with Erica a lot lately to. I got to sleep over sticks house like old times I love him.

I finally got to watch the little mermaid I was so happy I love that movie.

My moms going out of town for a week, I’m so happy. Yea and that’s it I know that was a gay update but whatever deal with it, it not like anyone reads this anyways.

yea.

2006-10-11T23:52:13Z

I really feel like I’m losing my best friend. Things just aren’t the same anymore. We never used to fight everything is changing one big fight over something stupid that I should have been the only one mad about anything changed our friendship dramatically. We made up after the fight but it still felt like there was tension between us, like there were words that we just both needed to get out but we were both scared to say. We haven’t been getting along good lately at all and now we are fighting over something stupid like this again. We used to argue over stupid stuff like this all the time. But now we are letting everything get the best of us I guess. I guess silly stuff that never came between us before like jealousy and drama are ruining such a strong friendship. It’s really killing me though because this girl was here for me through so much. I’m sure she could say the same things about me. Every time my mom got drunk or Joe started another fight she was always by my side, she was always the shoulder I had to cry on. She’d come in a heartbeat to come get me so I could stay with her. She took care of me for like a week when I had an allergic reaction and my eye swelled up. Me and her were both here for each other all the time when we had boy problems. Now she won’t even mention anything like that to me anymore. It seems like she has a new best friend now it’s a girl that I never liked and I defiantly had more then a few reasons not to like her most of it was because she was fucking with some of my friends and I don’t go for that. And now yea a girl I couldn’t stand is her new best friend. The thing that kills me is that she met her the day me and her got into our first big fight. No more three six mafia anymore. I know they say something’s are meant to be and if you lose an important friendship it’s probably for the best because everything happens for a reason, and I have to say that I usually was a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so if bad shit is going down just try to cope with it. But I can’t cope with losing my best friend. I really wish I could just tell her all of this. That I could tell her how much I miss her, and how I want things so go back to the way they used to be, to having sleepovers almost everyday, to me basically living at her house even when no one was there, To jumping up and down and screaming about certain boys. I want that all back. I want my best friend back.

HOMECOMING!

2006-09-20T22:12:22Z

This past weekend was homecoming it was a lot of fun. Our whole group went to dinner at atria’s. It was fun except that me and Shelby decided that we didn’t want to be with our dates at all they were boys from Southside beaver ha-ha. So like the whole time we were eating we were cracking up because we both thought they looked really ugly. I felt bad though because they paid for our food and bought us flowers, but they were so lame! So when me and Shelby got to homecoming we totally ditched our dates, they got mad at us because I guess they had like nobody else to dance with since they didn’t go to our school and they wanted to go. So Ashley found me and told me that the whole group was going to a party because none of the guys wanted to be there anymore. So they left and me and Shelby were just like thank god haha. At homecoming stickley and burtt were there and I decided that I wanted to hang out with stickley after homecoming so me Shelby and stickley hung out and we meet up with burtt Anthony and seth it was fun we smoked some green wit it haha. I really missed stickley im so glad i started hanging out with him just like old times.

Last night me and Shelby went over Anthony’s house and hung out with him Christina Melissa Danielle Brandon Maxine and burtt. It was fun. I love them boys<3333333333

ah things are changeing friends are changeing.

2006-09-12T09:56:03Z

School started. I haven’t updated forever. So many things changed in so little of time.

I’ve been learning a lot. I learned that falling for someone is the easy part, and that letting go is a completely different storey. I’m still grasping the concept that people do change sometimes for the worst and sometimes for the better. That best friends will turn their backs on me even when they swore they wouldn’t. And that I’ll met some new friends and lose some old friends on the way. I definitely learned that I have to deal with high school and all the drama that comes with it for the next couple of years. And that I have to eliminate people that continuously backstab me because those people aren’t needed in my life anyways. I learned that curve balls will get thrown at me when I least expect it, and that everything happens for a reason. So when bad stuff happens it’s just there to prepare me for something bigger that’s going to happen in my life. I’ve learned that nothing last forever and unfortunately every good thing must come to and end at some point of time. That basically my life’s like a novel and that im always going to be ending certain chapters in my life and starting new ones. This is a lot to take in but simply it all combines together.

DENNYS GRADUATION PARTY!

2006-08-27T21:08:14Z

DA CREW (minus NAY NAY&HUX)

I spent this whole week with Ashley. Her neighbors moved on Saturday but we all said goodbye to them on Friday it was sad we all started crying. I’m really going to miss Austin he was so cute. Saturday was Denny’s graduation party, it was so fun. I finally got to see Emily again. I love spending time with her it reminds me of old times and I love that, I really missed her. She’s in so many of my classes this year I’m so happy! At the graduation I basically hung out with Emily Ashley Denny, Erik and Johnny the whole time. Ashley went home early though so me and Emily hung out with Erik and Johnny the whole night. It was fun, I love having a hand chain in the middle of the road with them and making Erik dress up and I love Nay Nay haha! And I love how Emily’s dad kept sneaking them drinks and watching them get drunk it was so funny. Well here’s some pictures.

lifes good.

2006-08-22T21:30:44Z

I haven’t updated forever,

Summer schools been over. I passed haha.

My summer was going lame for awhile and then all of a sudden like in the passed 2 weeks everything has just been getting better, my life is pretty amazing right now. I just wish my mom wasn’t such a stupid cunt ,if she wasn’t one I think my life would be just about perfect. But hey what can you do.

Lately I have been eliminating people that I realized I don’t need in my life anymore, I know that sounds really mean but there are some people that just are a waste of my time. All they do is cause drama and start fights and they seem to never be happy with their own live unless they see that other people are suffering they can’t stand to see people happy. And those are the people I’m eliminating. I’ve been putting up with a lot of peoples shit for way to long. And now I’m done. I know who my true friends are and I love them with all my heart. And it took a whole summer to figure out who they were but that’s ok, because now I know this school year isn’t going to have as much drama. Well I’m hoping. But I have a pretty good feeling that this school year is going to be amazing and I’m so excited for it! I have that feeling just because life just seems to be getting better and better.

This whole week has been amazingly fun, and so busy. That’s just because like everyday I had like 5 different plans. To make it short I’ve basically spent this whole week with Ashley Rachel Shelby Ashley Ben Frankie Cam and Rich. I love those people<3. What this week consisted of is boating, street biking, drive in, movies, mall, Brusters, Eat’ n park, North park clubhouse, The fair, sleeping over cams house, and sleeping over Rachel’s house. Yea like I said I had a busy but fun week. When summers almost over it just starts getting good. That makes me mad.

-- On Friday Katie called me and told me that she was home for the weekend. I was at Brusters with Ashley Cam and Rich. And I asked Cam if he would take me over to moon on his street bike to see her and he said yes. So we left around 9:30 and I went to see her. I was so happy I haven’t seen her in 4 months! She might be back in October if her mom isn’t gay so I’m hoping she lets her come back!

Yea that’s about it comment even though no one will because no one goes on LJ anymore.

miss the old times

2006-07-14T00:26:05Z

lately I’ve realized that I’m starting to grow apart from my friends. I’m hanging out with other people, and I miss the old times. I just wish things could go back to normal.

I just want to kiss him and make him feel all the things I do. I want to raise hell in his mind and twist his heart till he wants me; till I’m so deep under his skin he can’t take it. I want him to see my shadow on his wall and feel my presence on his skin.

idk comment.

summerschool/driving!

2006-07-03T18:39:51Z

I started summer school I love / hate its lol.

Ashley let me drive her car and that was the first time I ever drove and it was sweet.

I love spending time with her and Brandon Tyler and ill never forget that day ever ha. ♥

Life’s been so good lately I don’t know why but I think that all those 11:11 wishes are starting to pay off.

That’s about it for now comment or something?

p.s. I’m getting my cell back finally and im getting a pink razor so yea I’m so happy finally haha its been since the day we got out of spring break.

summertime!

2006-06-21T15:13:12Z

This week has been interesting.

Sleepovers with Ashley’s cousin and his hot friend’s fun.

Kennywood fun even though there was a lot of drama but theres always drama on kennywood day for me and my friends haha.

Sleeping over bens house fun + weird haha.

Having an allergic reaction and have my eyes swell shut and looking like a monster a for a few days and having to sit in my house all day because I don’t want anyone to see me ahh not very fun but I love Ashley she was there for me through the whole thing.

· Starting summer school in a few days SUCKS!

· Missing last summer and the people I spent it with and how things used to be sucks even more.

ITS MY BIRTHDAY YAY !

2006-06-13T00:36:33Z

Wow freshman year is already over I can’t believe it! This year went so fast I remember being so scared to go to high school and Kari told me to go and not be scared because ill see “guys with gorgeous blue eyes” haha remember that Kari? High school has changed me so much but in a better way. I lost almost all of my friends that I used to have but made a lot more new ones that I couldn’t ever live without. But yea guys we finally crossed the parking lot lmao yea I remember the teachers used to tell us we were going to cross the parking lot when we were in middle school I remember a lot of the gay shit they used to tell us.

WHAO BUT ANWAYS ITS SUMMER’06 LIVE IT UP BITCHES!

Whao its my birthday today im finally 15 yess im a big girl now!

B TTYYY: HAPPY MUTHA FUCKING BIRTHDAY BEST FRIEND AHHH YOUR 15 IM GOING CRAZY FOR YOU BABI GIRLLLLL. WAHHHHH!!! anyways, happy birthday! on kennywood day ill give you a BIG WET KISS!

I love btyy<3

HAVENT UPDATED FOREVER!

2006-06-05T19:16:49Z

Wow theres like a day and a half of school left I cant believe im like done with my freshman year already its gone by so fast. I haven’t updated in forever so I thought I would update. Last weekend I went to the club with my girls on Saturday then on Sunday we called chris and were talking to him and then for some reason like five cars of like 20 people cam into my driveway im not sure how so many cars ended up getting there but they did haha it was stickly chris burtt evan brian jeff dorin and cj came out then then like a bunch of kids came into my drive way that live near me haha idk it was so funny my neighbors got mad cause they were maken such loud noise and stickly dorin and cj started like screaming at them it was the funniest thing ever. After that we all went to stickleys party and it was my first time getting like really drunk haha it was fun ill never forget that night because some interesting things happened. Monday I went to the robinson pool with stickly burtt and my girls it was fun I like dwatching them do cool dives with big girl. Thursday me ash w ash r Amanda chris and jeff went to pizza hott then after that me and ash r went to bens house with him and rich it was fun even though I was sick haha. This weekend nothing really exciteing basically did the usual just chilled with ash and leslie we went to graduation and cheered out favorite seniors on we were loud cause it was me Christina ashley amara danille reggie Brandon and Caitlyn so yea everyone heard us. Im deff going to miss the seniors they taught me so much about a lot of stuff I will never forget them we deff have a lot of funny memories. After the graduation we all went out to eat and then we went to ashleys house and chris came over and we called billy hahaa yea that’s the end.

I LOVE EMILY BROOKES!

2006-05-25T23:19:56Z

It’s these teenage years that you
figure out who your real friends are.

yes i love emily brookes more then life&hearts;

I DYED MY HAIR!

2006-05-23T22:16:09Z

K so I dyed my hair and I think I look like a gothic freak it’s so dark?

It's at times like these that I get so insecure. I worry you don't like me, that I don't mean that much to you. I really want to see you, and really want to hang out with you. But I'm too nervous to pick up the phone to see what you're up to, because I'm scared that you're busy. It's ridiculous, I know. But knowing that doesn't make this any easier for me. I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid you don’t want to see me.

I got to talk to Katie I cant wait intill she comes back I miss having convos with her everyday about boys and how gay they were and just being able to talk to her about everything ahh I was so happy she got to call me though it was amazing =)

Friday through Monday I slept over Ashley leslies and Lindsey’s house I love them people to death I had fun with them especially feeding the turtles and going t catch salamanders.

Three*six*Mafia for life &hearts;

OHH I FINALLY DELETED ALL OF MY FRIENDS FROM LIKE FOREVER AGO THAT DON’T USE THEIR LIVEJOURNALS SO IF ANYONE HAPPENS TO EVER GET A LIVEJOURNAL AGAIN THEN ADD ME.

WEEKEND!

2006-05-16T19:24:00Z

Friday we had off for senior day so I woke up early and Ashley imed me and asked me if I wanted to go to the track meet & I was like yea (and yes I don’t do track anymore I just went to watch my girls). So yea the track meet was boring & fun at the same time. It was boring because we had to wait for so long but itw as fun cause I love rapping with random gangster boys and singing with my girls to slow jams on the top of our lungs and getting lost but finding out how to get back home haha that was amazing. At the track meet me and ash decided that we were going to go to the club so after we finally found our way home me Ashley, Brandon, Amanda, and Leslie got ready and went. It was really fun, some interesting things happened there. After that we went to a beer pong party and that was so fuckin funny haha and interesting things happened there to haha. Then after that we slept at Ashley and leslies house and the next morning went home. Saturday me and Amanda went to another beer pong party haha. And Sunday i just chilled with raych and Courtney.

MY WEEKEND

2006-05-10T00:20:06Z

I think I’m getting back into using livejournal now.

Even though no one probably reads this its just my way of venting.

Or just my way of passing by how bored I am lol.

This weekend has been pretty entertaining.

I basically spent Thursday through Saturday with Rachael.

On Friday I got my baby and we had to like run off of Rachael’s bus to get it because I forgot it lol that thing is a pain in my ass and the most annoying thing ever. We missed the bus just cause I had to go back and get it but its ok cj hooked us up with a ride. After finally getting home me and raych went to Chelsea’s and chilled with a bunch of different people it was fun Chelsea’s pretty sweet.

Saturday I went to the mall with Rachael Shelby and kari and I had to lug my stupid baby with me and people were calling me a whore and told me to next time use protection haha it was embarrassing. After that it was like 9 and I went home Ashley called me and wanted me to go to a party with her and jt so we went and it ended up being johns I wasn’t really friends with him till that night but hes a awesome I had fun there even though my baby was being very annoying and woke all of us up hah aim still mad that I dident get to see 2 guys kiss haha that would of been hot.

When we left the party me and Ashley went back to my house and I got in trouble for sneaking out so my mom like kicked us out so me and Ashley fell asleep in my yard and it was the most comfortable sleep ever,seriously.

Then Ashley had to go to work so she left and my mom left so I went back in the house cause I had the kay and I just fell asleep and at like 930 rachel called and woke me up and I talked to her for awhile and then brian called and was like want to hang out but I dident realize how late it was so I said yea then we hung out till like 1130 and I asked hi mwhat time it was and he told me and I was like holy fuck im going to get in trouble and I made him take me home and I dident even end up getting in trouble cause my mom still wasn’t home yet haha.

Yea that’s basically my weekend.

ALOT OF STUFF.

2006-05-04T23:21:44Z

Today me and Rachel went tanning, and walked around and shit.

That’s about it bored so I’m updating again which I never do.

Oh another thing is I really really miss Madison more then anything right now.

I ‘m bored so im going to type some things I wish I’ve known sooner.

Don’t let your life wait for other people.
Tens years from now most of what we freak out about won’t make a difference.
Zits always pop up when you really can’t afford for them to pop up.
Just because someone flirts with you doesn’t necessarily mean her or she likes you.
Sometimes smart people can do very stupid things.
The one person you can truly like is often right in front of you , you just don’t see it or don’t want to see it.
Never, ever, let someone of the opposite sex make you do something your not comfortable doing.
Nothing is ever to good to be true.
Never do something if the risk is greater then the reward.
To do things that really need to be done now instead of waiting to do them later don’t be a procrastinator.
If your intuition is telling you not to do something then don’t, your intuition is not stupid.
If he doesn’t respect you then he’s not worth any of your time.
If at first you don’t succeed then try again. Then give up. There’s no sense of being ridiculous about it.
You never know when your making a memory.
The heart dose heal and you will love again, except when you do you’ll deny you ever loved that person to begin with.
Nothing matters if you don’t have loved ones to share it with.
If you laugh at yourself then your going to do fine.
If you allow others to laugh at you, you’ll be great.
Kissing is the most fun thing. Dancing is almost as fun.
Like everyone trust no one.

So yea I’m very confused about something right now. not sure if I really want to update about it though, ill probably update about it later if I really need to get it off my chest. I don’t think anyone can really give me advice for it every time I ask someone I get a different opinion on the subject. I think ill have to figure this out myself.